It’s been quite some time since my last post, but of course life always manages to throw some extra challenges our way. What’s been going on in the past few weeks?
At the end of April, I went in for IVF Co-culture. I think I put too much thought into the procedure and it actually wasn’t bad at all (causing myself a bit of needless anxiety). The day before the co-culture biopsy was to take place I went in early for blood drawing. In total, the assistant filled 6 or 7– 25 cc syringes. It wasn’t too bad, I made sure I ate breakfast and she used a butterfly needle. I think my anxiety about the blood draw stemmed from my recent experience in the hospital. The multiple blood draws daily, the IV and blood transfusions has made me want to run away from hospitals for good! OK I digress…
Getting back to the IVF Co-culture…
One hour before the biopsy, I took 400 mg of Ibuprofen as instructed. After a negative urine pregnancy test, the assistant took me to the procedure room. The room is actually the same type of rooms used for ultrasounds during IUI or IVF cycles. The biopsy took about 10 minutes in total. A speculum is used, then a catheter is inserted to suction the sample of tissue. The sensation you feel during the procedure is very mild cramping and the tissue suctioned is immediately placed in a cup. I had no problems getting dressed and making my way back home via the train. Spotting is common but I did not experience any. Thankfully, I survived this one without complication!
Also in the same month as co-culture, I started to experience panic attacks. For those of you who have never had one, it’s actually a pretty scary thing. Basically, you feel as if you can’t breathe, feel extremely anxious and you’re afraid you’re going to die. Sounds overly dramatic? Not to the one having the panic attack. So I’ve been going to therapy for about a month now and have gotten over the cycle and fear of my anxiety attacks. My therapist thinks the attacks are partly due to post traumatic stress from my recent stay at the hospital (see complication after IVF post). Mentally, I feel stronger than I did in April when my panic attacks started. Emotionally, I am feeling more stable and not a hot mess whenever someone would ask me “how are you doing?.”
I am happy to report I can ride the NYC subways without fear of an impending anxiety attack now! Hooray! It has taken me quite a bit to get to this point. Working through anxiety is tough sh@#$%t!
So what’s on the horizon? Hubby and I are still ttc on our own but decided if no ++ turn up on the urine sticks then IVF cycle #3 it is (gulp). A few months ago, I definitely couldn’t wrap my mind around another IVF, but now I can think about it and not be frozen with fear. We just pray for no complications this time.
Stay tuned possible IVF #3 mid July.
(the center is closed for most of June!)